Fear and Faith - Sunday August 7, 2011

Today's lesson in church was about fear and faith. How fear can have a tight grip on your heart. However, if you have faith in the Lord, he will bring you through it.
  Since becoming a new mom fear overwhelms me. Fear does have a tight grip on my heart. It is ironic because I recently read a blog (Power Shower - check it out!) from a really good friend of mine and she was discussing the same issue. I think she would have enjoyed the service today. Anyways, the message came from scripture Matthew 14:22-36 - I am not gong to quote it word by word but it was powerful. It was about how Peter was in the boat on the sea and heard a voice fearing it was a ghost - he asked it if it were God and it was - He said "come" to Peter and Peter got out of the boat, focused on the Lord and walked on water for a few steps - once the wind came, fear took over and Peter started sinking. He lost focus on God. Distractions are all over the place - we just need to keep focused.

The message hits home for me because I need to let go of fear - I need to give God my fear. If I don't it will have control over me. I need to trust God - honestly, that is hard for me to do. Fear of the unknown, fear that something bad, heartbreaking, life changing will happen and I don't know if I can handle that. I guess that is where TRUST comes in?? I need to TRUST that God has a plan for me and my loved ones, He knows what He is doing.

What ended the service on an even better note was that Pastor Jim played "Fire and Rain" by James Taylor on acoustic guitar - GOOD STUFF!

you can't go around the fear - you have to go through it -faith will get you through it

put on a happy face!

Legwarmers

Music I miss you!

Oh how I miss thee....I do, I really miss you! You makes me happy! You take me away to the special place (I just got sidetracked singing "Sweet child o mine"..hahaha) - a place where I can dance like a fool and sing along without a care. You are good for my soul. You are aways there to help me get through hard times and to celebrate the good ones. Oh how I miss thee.

Homesick

HHMMM...a little homesick...I've been staying at my moms the last 3 days and I must admit I miss the commonality of home. I always look forward to a weekend at moms  - it's a little intermission of reality so to speak. However this weekend, not so much. This weekend shall be tagged the weekend of sleepovers at Gabby's house. It is really a good thing that Lucy hangs out with all her cousins - I just wasn't expecting it!
Some can be little bit theatrical at times but what can you do? they are just kids...that's what I keep having to tell myself - and really, it is a form a birth control. Am I ready to have two kids? Can I handle this? will my kids be like this? Lord help me!!!

feels good!

Legoland butterflies - BEAUTIFUL!

I think I finally found a church I feel comfortable with. I went to service on Sunday Fathers day and it was JUST what I needed. It feels good, I feel good - much better since my last jaded post.
   Besides the rough start to the weekend it ended on a pleasant note. Fathers day was beautiful! We took Lucy to see papa Jim's grave, then ate dinner at my moms. My mom cook and grilled all my dads favorites which happened to be my husbands favorites as well. =)  I am again reminded not to sweat the small stuff - life is too short.

ramblings

Marriage is sometimes a battle...why? Is it a test of strength and will? Sometimes I look at my husband and think - he does not get it! All I want is for him to listen. It feels as if we are constantly butting heads - SO FRUSTRATING. I have learned to pick my battles - but him...nope! I know I can be a brat and this blog is totally one sided, but I just need to be heard.
When he is home, one thing I look forward to is a nice relaxing shower. He can watch Lucy while I can FINALLY have a moment to myself (please don't misunderstand, I LOVE and cherish every moment with her, but a girl needs a break!). Every single time, and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME he rushes me because he has things to do. Now, he is a great father to her - but what's up with that? I'm working 24/7 and that shower is a moment of peace, clarity, reflection, relaxation, selfishness, etc, etc, etc....moms you know what I'm talking about right? ugh
This blog may seem petty and foolish but I feel better when I write. This simple task of taking a shower led into a full blown argument. I am sure there are more issues below the surface that were involved. We have retreated to our corners and are taking a break from each other - barely saying a word only if we have to. He is in "his" garage and I am in the bedroom wishing I was tired enough to go to sleep. I hate arguing, especially that tomorrow is his first fathers day and I will probably have to give in and be nice..wah wah wah. I am a believer that men have their "time of the month". I'm feeling frustrated, stressed and a little lost - I need to get over this.
Thanks for listening =)